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Parental expectations and coaching - Are you still trying to win your parents' approval?

30 Sep 2013

Many parents pass on their needs and wrap their happiness in the relationships with their children. This dependence – often unconscious on the parents’ part – is, of course, hugely unfair for the children. One of our friends, she’s in her late thirties, her mother still calls her every single night and when she misses the call she’s berated and they argue. Both parties are badly affected – the mother because she’s given away her power to her daughter to make her happy, and the daughter because emotional blackmail and guilt causes resentment. Or we hear of fathers mentoring their sons to develop brilliant careers as businessmen or the next Tiger Woods with similar emotional consequences. Alternatively, there are the parents who expect their children to perform like dancing bears to impress their friends, and despite being hugely successful in their own field will still never live up to the success of their friends’ children. And whether parents have come to terms with failed careers, and have neither the status nor wealth they carved then they will leave through their child, an intolerable burden of expectancy placed on growing shoulders, which seeking exploration are given only goals. We even have a friend who at two weeks old was given over to a nanny so that his parents didn’t miss a beat of their high-powered careers, the resulting lack of attention driving a wall between our friend and their parents and when she gave birth to her baby boy her parents did not come to see the child until his second year.

Whatever the circumstances of your own upbringing, we’ve all experienced the burden of our parents needs to a greater or lesser extend. Because Lequin take a 'holistic' approach to our executive and business coaching, our executive coaches discuss deep issues such as this in their executive business coaching sessions.

Who are Lequin Leadership Development ?
Lequin Leadership Development provide customer service training, executive coaches, business coaches, executive business coaching, coach training courses, coach training, coaching skills for managers, coaching culture programmes, board coaching, outplacement support, executive coach, coach supervision, executive coaching, talent management, change management, change management training, leadership coaching and leadership development.

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